By John Verdon
University of Ottawa.
1983
Abstract
In this paper feminism is understood as the increasingly
pervasive cultural attitude or context advocating the eradication of the
traditional sex-roles, with the purpose of equalizing the life experience
potentials available to each sex, and stressing the fact that the similarities
between women and men far outweigh their differences. It was proposed that the
present day male’s experience of coming t terms with himself as an adult and a
male, without the reinforcement of a definitive structure of a sex-role
stereotype, may leave him vulnerable to a particular type of noogenic crisis.
A review of the literature failed to disclose relevant
studies concerning this particular paper. Based on personal observation of
several men undergoing the Age Thirty Transition, as well as on a review of
Jung’s concepts of the structure of the psyche, and the process of
individuation, an analysis was made in order to come to a deeper understanding
of the effect that the influence of feminism has had in depotentiating the
traditional markers that have been used in the process of assimilating the
male’s gender identity.
Jung presupposed for each sex a specific fundamental
psychological orientation. This orientation was the basis of the stereotypic
sex-roles in a particular time and culture, during the process of assimilating
the gender-identity. Accepting the notion of an inherently specific
psychological orientation that is contained by one’s sex is not equivalent to
prescribing that the traditional sex-roles should continue to exist unchanged,
but allows us to more fully comprehend the dynamics of the relationship between
the sexes as well as of individual growth. Crisis can emerge with the
disillusionment of what one sex expects to find in the other sex, on the level
of personal relationship. Many misunderstandings that occur may possibly be
based on a lack of a clear appreciation for this difference in psychological
orientation. As a consequence the crisis for the male involves an element or
experience of a certain loss of an acquired feminine image.
The contention may contribute in general to a better
understanding of the dynamics of not only the interpersonal relation of
couples, but to the young adult male’s process of individuation. The findings
encourage pursuing research in this area.
Introduction
A recent review of the literature, (Greenglass, 1982)
concerning gender-roles concluded with the assertion that gender roles must be
abolished in order for all individuals to have the opportunity to achieve their
full human potential. The approach of the review was a feminist social
psychological perspective that was based on the belief that individual
psychological functioning cannot be understood apart from the social context in
which it is found. While the intention of such an assertion is undoubtedly one
that our civilization must pursue wholeheartedly, the complexity of the
relational dynamics between both the sexes and between “individuals” precludes
a much deeper understanding of the functions that gender-roles have in the
process of human communication, growth, and the development of identity. This
sort of realization is acknowledged later in the above mentioned summary when
the author affirmed that the abolition of gender-roles would not in itself,
ensure equality between the sexes.
The intent of this study is to relate the notion of a
specific psychological orientation that is inherent in the task of consciously
assimilating a particular gender identity, an orientation that is perhaps
inherent in the sex identity as well, to the process of individuation, taking
into account the possible influence that feminism has on this process today. It
is a contention of the writer that there does exist specific psychological orientations
that are presupposed onto the individual by the biological sex and that this
specific orientation was and is the fundamental basis of the gender-role
stereotypes. However, in accepting this notion one is not committed to
prescribing that these roles should continue to exist, but is instead, in a
much stronger position to facilitate the adoption of more universally flexible
and perhaps androgynous roles.
The intent of this study is to relate the notion of a
specific psychological orientation that is inherent in the task of consciously
assimilating a particular gender identity, an orientation that is perhaps
inherent in the sex identity as well, to the process of individuation, taking
into account the possible influence that feminism has on this process today. It
is a contention of the writer that there does exist specific psychological orientations
that are presupposed onto the individual by the biological sex and that this
specific orientation was and is the fundamental basis of the gender-role
stereotypes. However, in accepting this notion one is not committed to
prescribing that these roles should continue to exist, but is instead, in a
much stronger position to facilitate the adoption of more universally flexible
and perhaps androgynous roles.
- The definition of the concepts of the “influence of feminism”, “the male’s passage into manhood,” and “the noogenic crisis”, as they are to be understood for the purposes of this paper.
- The three case studies will be presented. The aim is to outline the general dynamics of the onset, progression, and possible resolution of a particular type of noogenic crisis.
- The commentary on the presented cases will use Jungian concepts and propositions as the central or main analytical tools. Also included will be some historical or anthropological analogies.
- A conclusion will be drawn and several possible areas of application will be proposed, as well as some suggestions for further research.
The
entire study in this plan of investigation will attempt to bring the following
questions into sharper focus:
- Although the measure of masculinity, femininity, and androgyny, may be useful in establishing behavioral/personality dimensions, they may not in themselves measure in any useful way the actual psychological differences that may exist between men and women. Thus, a phenomenological approach to what each sex perceives to be the power differential separating them from each other, may prove to be more revealing of the psychology of gender as well as what each sex expects as compensatory in the other sex. Such an approach would sharpen the focus on the question of, is there an essential psychological difference inherent in the gender and if so what is it?
- How is gender assimilated, and what is the process by which the assimilation is achieved? Ow does gender and sex influence the process of individuation?
The
general approach of this study stresses the development of the individual male
personality, and by implication or inference the female as well. In particular
it focuses upon the psychic functioning necessary for psychological health, as
a way of life. The writer recognizes the breadth and complexity of the topic
makes each effort only a relative progress toward a more comprehensive
understanding of the dynamics of gender and the individuation process. Other
models for the exploration of his area of development exist, and a
recommendation is made for a further integration of those models.
Definition of terms
For the purpose of this paper, “the influence of feminism”,
is understood as the increasingly pervasive cultural attitude or context
advocating the radical modification of the traditional gender-roles. The
intention of such modifications is to equalize the life experience potentials
available to both sexes, in order to reinforce a realization that the
similarities between women and men s individuals far outweigh their
differences. The major implication of the feminist approach lies in the stressing
that the sex-stereotyped roles and behaviors are the primary source of
conditioning creating the disparity between the two sexes’ ways of functioning
and orientation. As this author understands the problem, the shift in emphasis
onto the stereotypic roles and behaviors of the sexes, while necessary to
investigate, may too easily simplify the approach to introducing changes in the
functional interactions between the sexes. More concisely, the implications of
the feminist perspective, while creating economic and political equality also
creates the expectation that once this level of equality is achieved, the
harmonious equalization of the dynamics of relationship between woman and man
will naturally follow.
The women involved in the case studies are not to be
construed as feminist in any radical sense, but as present day women concerned
with finding their individual identities apart from traditional roles and
behaviors. These women have integrated, perhaps not congruently, the
presuppositions of equality of opportunity and experience, and are thus more
sensitive to apparent constraints involved in the expectational projections of
the men with whom they have become involved.
The male’s passage into manhood is the central concept in
this paper. Despite this, however, the concept remains complex, subtle, and
therefore difficult to define. The specific passage in mind, does not refer to
any of the particular so-called passages normal to the modern Western cultures,
such as the acquisition of a driver’s license, or the loss of the male’s
virginity, or the proving of the male’s courage, strength, virility or
instrumentality. The term is intended to describe a passage of psychological or
emotional insight that while perhaps only transiently grasped by the conscious
awareness, yet may still mark a more profound change in the individual male’s
attitude.
This specific insight involves the experience of coming to
terms with, and assimilating into one’s being the impact and implications of
the awareness that besides being an individual one is also an adult and a male.
This sort of passage is not necessarily restricted to one particular sexual
orientation or preference. The dynamics involve the comprehension of how one’s
maleness colours one’s motivations and perceptions, especially in relation to
what one expects to find in a relationship with a significant other. These
expectations are over and above any sort of division of labour or stereotyped
roles, although the roles may have previously facilitated their mutual fulfillment.
Clues to the nature of this particular type of passage, may be found by the
analytical exploration of the rites of initiation of more primitive or stable
societies, as the meaning the rites hold for the individual and the place they
occupy in the scheme of the social life, (Eliade, 1958), Te Paske, 1982).
The observed crisis of the present day male’s passage into
manhood takes on an aspect of the noogenic crisis or neurosis, (Frankl, 1967).
In the more primitive or stable societies the process of becoming an adult male
was grounded in the challenge of fulfilling and carrying a set of role and
behaviors defined by the sex stereotypes of the particular time and culture.
Integral to this thesis, and perhaps a significant subset
to, and substantiated by Bateson’s view, is Jung’s notion of the anima/animus
dynamics as they influence the interpersonal relationships between women and
men, (Harding, 1965, 1970; Bertine, 1967; Jung, 1966). The sense of loss of a
feminine image is of itself enough to initiate a crisis in meaning (noogenic).
However, such a loss in conjunction with the increasing dissolution of
stereotypic-roles, which previously provided a basis for a more clear
communication of specific relational contingencies and thus more simple avenues
of social participation and meaning, generates an even greater potential for
the initial rejection of the projected anima with the ensuing noogenic crisis.
It must be understood that the above is not any sort of
reason or rationale for a reversion to prescribed specific sex-roles. The
attempt to comprehend the deeper psychological orientations underlying the
stereotypes can contribute to a smoother transition to
stereotypically-role-free relationships between the sexes. This author believes
that the noogenic crisis dealt with in this paper is an inevitable and
necessary stage in the process of individuation, as the separation of the ego
from the Self in the form of the discrimination of the anima from the mother
imago, (Edinger, 1972). The severity and duration of this type of noogenic
crisis, should however, be at least somewhat amenable to adjustment by the
proper understanding of the meaning of the process as it works its way through.
Thus, the passage is characterized as a noogenic crisis
because in the cases presented the males were all in general conscious
agreement with the ideal of non-stereotypic sex-roles. The rejected anima
projections then pointed out the discrepancy between the conscious motives and
the unconscious expectations, creating a more inclusive existential
frustration, sense of helplessness, and generalized loss of a sense of purpose
that accompanies the sense of being connected with the world around one. In
this way the sense of isolation and alienation is amplified.
Case Studies
The cases are complex and multi-dimensional, with the
consequence that no one theory can expect to adequately encompass the breadth
of each experience. The scope of this particular theoretical perspective limits
its focus to an admittedly one-sided examination and hopefully an explanation
of the male’s experience. A. N. Whitehead (1929) asserts that, “The
verification of a rationalistic scheme is to be sought in its general success,
and not in the peculiar certainty or initial clarity of its first principles.” Thus,
Jung’s concepts of the structure of the psyche and the process of individuation
provide what can be considered the first principles of the rationalistic scheme
proposed by this study. General success may perhaps be measured or defined in
terms of whether the scheme can provide a general contextual backdrop upon
which most particular and individual experiences can be more completely
comprehended and located within the process of the psychological maturation of
the male. This contextual backdrop should aid in the determination of a
direction of a health-oriented outcome of any suitable therapeutic intervention
The primary assumption upon which this viewpoint is based
and from which the subsequent understandings emerge, is that the crisis or
problem is in the nature of a psychological dynamic that uses the prevalent
cultural, political, and social forms to work itself out rather than a dynamic
that is necessarily caused by particularly prevalent forms, although the
particular culture may aid or hinder the working out of such a psychological
dynamic. Awareness and acceptance of the dynamic underlying the crisis or
problem would permit the development of a more structured approach that could
focus on the psychological and emotional education necessary to more adequately
and properly prepare the individual male for the transition into adulthood.
The material presented I the following case studies is
necessarily an extremely condensed distillation of observations garnered from
regular and frequent interviews extending from a minimum period of eight months
to a maximum period of two years. The three men involved were either in the
midst or beginning of the age thirty-transition (Levinson, 1978) and therefore
the activation of the issues concerning the attachment/separateness polarity
and the masculine/feminine polarity augment and amplify the sense of the
imperative transition into the subsequent phase of becoming one’s own man. Each
of the three males was born and raised in a different country and cultural,
socio-economic background. The observations center on the male’s reactions
within their relationships with their partners. Each relationship represents
different levels of commitment, duration, and fulfillment. Each relationship
occurred in Ottawa with a woman native to Ottawa. Case 1 will use the aliases
of Tom and Mary; Case 2 of Jim and Kim; and Case 3 of Ted and Kate.
Case One
Tom, born and raised in England of a lower-middle class
family, was now a landed immigrant living in Ottawa. Since coming to Canada he
had earned his livelihood by being a cook and then waiter. Recently, however,
he had launched a small business that was just beginning to sustain itself and
provide him with an adequate income. His formal education was the equivalent of
high school, although he had continued to pursue an alternative form of
education through a series of readings and serious interests in different
approaches to health. He was sensitive and could be articulate, despite a
general shyness in public. He had very few intimate friends.
On his first visit to Canada, Tom met Mary while she was
still living with her parents. They fell in love and where soon living
together. After approximately three years of this arrangement they decided to
get married, a decision complicated by Tom’s citizenship status problems. The
marriage would simplify the process of becoming a landed immigrant. Although
they affirmed their love for each other, Tom maintained that the major reason
for the marriage to take place was the ‘convenience’. Throughout the relationship
Tom was both very jealous and possessive of Mary, although never physically
abusive or dominant. Mary had had a negative, uncommunicative, and fearful
relationship with both her parents, especially her father who on occasion had
been physically and severely abusive to her mother, the other children and
herself. Socially, Mary was open, warm, responsive and very articulate, having
many more intimate friend of both sexes than Tom did.
It soon became evident that in many ways Mary was able to be
much more consciously self-disclosing with others than she was with Tom. In
fact, she admitted that she was probably projecting feelings and attitudes more
appropriate to her father onto Tom, and was thus somewhat inhibited in the
establishing of a trusting relationship. Mary had left her family’s home in
order to live with Tom and as such this was her first adult type relationship.
It may then be reasonable to assume that this sort of projection is in fact the
case.
Mary was not a feminist in any sort of militant way, she had
however, integrated into herself many aspects of what may be termed the values
of a modern woman. She fiercely maintained her economic and personal
independence, refusing to fall into any pattern of relating that she felt her
mother had accepted. She perceived the notion of having children with fear and
apprehension, as if it were a trap in the sense that she would be more
vulnerable due to the increased dependency and responsibility. She was not
overly ambitious in terms of a career, nor was she opposed or fearful of
serious commitment to a relationship. In many ways she was capable of deep
insight and compassion that generally allowed her to eventually temper any
one-sidedness of attitude on her part.
Tom’s relationship with both his mother and father was
somewhat distant, despite his being an only child. Tom’s powerful insecurity
may perhaps have been due to a general lack of warm contact with his parents.
Tom habitually called Mary ‘mommy’ as a term of endearment and in affected tones
of voice and body posture appropriate to a grown-up playing the ‘child’. Mary
had left Tom several times for periods lasting about a week. Her major
complaint being, that Tom was not willing to acknowledge and therefore actively
work on his problems of insecurity. Mary felt that she was actively dealing
with her own problems through a series of session with a spiritual
lay-counselor. The sessions seemed to have brought her into closer contact with
a great deal of her repressed feelings concerning her parents and family,
without however doing much to resolve them in a constructive way. The result of
these sessions seemed to be an amplification of her projections onto Tom and an
increasing reactivity, moodiness, and inability to communicate with Tom. Tom throughout
this period became more and more insecure.
Approximately six months after becoming married, Tom came
home from work one evening to find that Mary had completely moved out. Mary had
left behind a note indicating her love for Tom but affirming that this action
was a necessary one for her and not to try to contact her, as she would contact
him when she felt ready. This separation was to last a year during which time
Tom would experience the noogenic crisis that is the topic of this paper.
Tom’s first reactions to the note and the empty house, was a
combination of shock, feigned indifference, anger, and desperation. He began
most immediately a series of phone calls none of which were fruitful in
locating Mary. As the realization sank in that every one of Mary’s belongings
were in fact gone, a sense of fear and loss began to predominate. The next
several weeks were spend by Tom in efforts to communicate with Mary who had
absolutely no desire to do so. Mary’s refusal to communicate, confirmed to Tom
the seriousness of the separation.
Tom’s financial responsibilities without Mary almost
doubled. Much of the initial shock and reaction were consumed by a necessary
increase in activity and concern revolving around the effort to survive.
However, reactions continued to occur; fits of crying, apathy and loneliness,
periods of a sense of euphoria and autonomous strength, extremely compulsive
calls, visits, ‘spying’, thought of selling everything and moving to
California, periods of anguish, etc.
Within four months Mary had found a new job and home that
happened to be not too distant from Tom. By now, both had cooled off somewhat
and during the ensuing two months both had their own affairs. The affairs
developed into casual friendships as they eventually realized that their
relationship was not over. Communication between Tom and Mary began on a more
serious note. Mary was not ready to resume the relationship as it had been,
although se affirmed that Tom was indeed the one she loved.
The following five months proved to be the most difficult
for Tom. Financial pressures continued to create anxiety. He was unwilling to
move or even to share his apartment, due to a persistent and tenacious desire
for Mary to move back in, thus he wanted the apartment, into which he had invested
a considerable amount of energy in renovations, to be ready in case Mary
changed her mind. Tom became increasingly compulsive in his need to see or call
Mary. Mary, on the other hand found herself reacting to Tom’s frequent calls
and attempts to see her, in an equally compulsive though oppositely abusive
manner.
Thus, each time Tom succumbed to his compulsion to talk to
Mary, she just as compulsively repelled him. Only on those occasions where Mary
felt in control could she see Tom. Tom’s compulsiveness extended to the point
where he would resort to frequent spying. Always, however, such actions would
be motivated or preceded by feelings of uncontrollable anxiety and emptiness,
as if Mary had somehow ‘captured’ the essence of his being, and only she could
now restore him. Tom’s mood swings became more intense moving from one of
strength and a belief that the relationship would work itself out, to an
apathetic despair and an impulse to leave everything behind by selling out and
moving far away. Mary became more and more that symbol that focused all that
Tom considered as the meaningfulness of what could be found in life, and that
without her all seemed worthless, empty and alien. The insult to his sense of
injury was that he felt unjustly helpless in his dependence on Mary and
perceived her to be happily and easily independent of him, to be in almost
complete self-possession of herself which in turn increased his sense of
weakness, frustration and anger.
At this point Tom began to seek therapy in several ways. He
began regular sessions with a woman gestalt therapist, started searching for
and reading a series of books concerned with male psychological growth and
problems, and slowly attempted to develop a greater circle of more intimate
friends upon who he could count on for support. Tom’s process of letting go,
(for years he was almost continually constipated), was substantiated when he
finally accepted a room-mate who would help share the expenses of maintain his
apartment. The room-mate was a male, who had recently started to jog regularly,
and Tom was soon inspired to join him.
Although, they jogged together for only a short time Tom
continued to do so on his own. This activity seemed to be a crucial step in
Tom’s affirmation of his own strength and independence. Along with the other
process he had initiated, jogging seemed to help him maintain his contact with
a sense of wholeness and power within himself. His developing friendships with
other males allowed for an expanded sense of autonomy through a more widespread
emotional support group. The relation with Mary began to be more relaxed and
much less compulsive and desperate. Eventually a mutual confidence and trust
enabled the relationship to flow according to their own schedules and desires.
Almost exactly a year after the separation Mary moved back to live with Tom.
Some months later Tom no longer continued to work as a part-time waiter, and
was instead able to commit himself entirely to making his own business
enterprise a successful venture. The relationship continued to have problems
and communication difficulties, although with a firmer foundation upon which to
work things out.
Case Two
Jim was born of Ottawa, of a working class family. From the
age of one until the age of five, he was cared for by three separate foster
homes, as a result of a series of events occurring in the natural family
including the death of the maternal grandfather and separation of the parents. By
the age of five the maternal grandmother had remarried and was able to take Jim
into her new home with what was now his step-grandfather. A few months later
his mother moved into the house as well. The step-grandfather profoundly
influenced the environment in an emotionally oppressive manner. Open affection
was almost completely absent. Jim’s feelings toward what was now his family
were at best ambivalent. He remained in this situation until he was nineteen at
which point he left home. The foster homes had provided little emotional warmth
and had been at times physically abusive.
Although intelligent, even bright, his school record was
irregular, showing more troughs than peaks. He moved from an 84% average in
grade nine to failing grade twelve and dropping out of school the next year.
However, he had always been an avid reader and in this way he continued to
broaden his ideas through a wide range of books.
In the next nine years he had pursued an alternative
‘hippie’ lifestyle, that led him through several relationships, produced two
children from two mothers, as well as several types of employment and travels
throughout Europe, Canada and the U.S. By the age of 28 Jim had developed a
clear and powerful sense of vocation that culminated in the decision to acquire
the university education necessary to enable him to pursue it as a career.
As far back as Jim could remember a profound feeling of
person failure had permeated his sense of self. A tremendous neediness for
relationship seemed permanently linked to a complete inability to either find a
‘true’ love or to establish a long-term consistent relationship. A persistent
sense of unworthiness appeared to preclude him from accepting or seeing the
potential for fulfilling his needs. Usually introverted, working as a waiter
for several years had enabled him to develop a more gregarious person both with
strangers and with intimate friends. His lack of self-esteem often crippled him
from taking an active or assertive role in the pursuit of an intimate
relationship with anyone he found attractive. Jim’s relations with any
perceived authority figure was consistently distant formal and sometimes ingratiating,
and always privately ambivalent.
A month before Jim was to begin his third year at
university, Kim and mother moved into the same apartment building he lived in.
Kim was eight years younger than Jim and was also attending the same
university. A few months passed before they took notice of each other at a
party held in another apartment in their building. Soon Kim was dropping over
to Jim’s regularly to chat, and Jim began to be infatuated with her. Having
never married, Jim had recently come to a realization (based on reflection of
his romantic history) that love without commitment could not be sustained. He
had been feeling ready to try commitment and now that Kim had entered the
picture she became the image of the possibility of such a type of relationship.
Kim’s attitudes and opinions had been strongly influenced or
colored by her mother who was fiercely bitter over having become a ‘suppressed
housewife’, having given up dream of becoming an artist and then being divorced
and dependent on alimony. Kim had been well convinced one had to have a
securely independent career before even considering establishing any sort of
permanent relationship. She was very apprehensive of becoming trapped before
having achieved in her own terms a sense of individuality and independence. She
was thus very sensitive to any excessive emotional demands reacting against
them as if they were an attack on her future and her dreams, or an attempt to
pigeonhole her into a static role that would steal her chances of finding
herself.
The relationship was characterized by a consistent
attraction/repulsion on both sides, although Jim tended more to represent the
desire for increasingly deeper commitment, while Kim would tend to ract with a
wish to return to a more casual friendship. Jim in many ways was desperate to
make this relationship work, motivated by feelings that here at last almost
within reach was the fulfillment and groundedness he had always lacked and had
never found. Kim, however, felt completely swallowed when Jim would be so
intense, she felt him to be grasping. In a sense she was justified in her
feelings, for although Jim was not trying to fit her into any specific role, he
was projecting expectations that the relationship would be a fountain of
emotional nurturance that would somehow give him complete security. The
intensity of Jim’s desire for emotional stability through Kim was matched by
the intensity of her rejection of the responsibility of such. Throughout the
relationship Jim experienced a good deal of ambivalence about the possibilities
of fulfilment due to the age gap between them.
When Kim communicated that she wanted a less involved
relationship Jim felt overwhelmed as if the ground had been taken out from
under him. Consequently Jim reacted as if all meaning and purposefulness of
surviving was now lost, irrevocably.
In the matter of a day, Jim’s life changed from one on the
edge of a potential fulfillment to one of meaningless emptiness. An occasional
drinker before, he now started to drink consistently and regularly. Having
little will or motivation to do anything but watch T.V. and drink scotch. He
was given to frequent fits of crying, went to be and awoke with thoughts of
suicide, although not to the point of acting it out. His school suffered, he
lost weight, was unable to sleep or only sleep fitfully, and his ambition lost
the edge it had when he had first entered university. He was possessed to the
point of being completely attentive to Kim’s arrivals and departures from the
apartment building, waiting till whatever time at night to catch a glimpse of
her coming home, and getting p at the first sounds of stirring in the building
in order to catch sight of her if she happened to be leaving in the morning.
He was subject to physical sensations of pain, in his heart,
stomach, and deep feelings of physical emptiness. It seemed as if almost
everything was a stimulus to some sort of memory of Kim and what Jim believed
that could have been. Along with the persistent thoughts of the possibilities
of Kim’s involvement with other men, thought which increased his despair and
fed his low self-esteem, he experienced fits of anger, and fantasies of extreme
violence toward Kim. Both types of thought and fantasies, that is of jealousy
and violent anger, served to emphasize his feelings of having lost his
self-possession or ‘soul’, and with it the meaningfulness of hi previous endeavours. As far as Jim could perceive, Kim was in complete self-possession
and was not in the least experiencing any sort of feelings of loss. Only on the
occasional encounters would Kim demonstrate any affect, and that, as perceived
by Jim was only resentment at having to encounter him at all.
This state of affairs continued for almost two months until
at last, Jim decided to seek out some counseling and therapy. He also read as
many books as he could find concerning the male psychological experience, and
the male’s process of social condition/construction. It was not long before Jim
was able to get more consciously in touch with the emergent feeling and
identify them. He became aware that in many ways he had been searching for a
sort of mother, instead of an equal who could be a companion. Jim saw that he
had expected a salvation and transformation, redemption from his sense of
unworthiness, and to be at last secure in the comfort of a woman love. He also
became conscious of the feelings of rejection that had their source in his
early childhood experience which had remained largely unconscious. These
feelings had manifested as an almost self-fulfilling prophesy interfering in Kim’s previous attempts to establish a relationship. He was now able to
acknowledge that self-love was his first step and primary responsibility in his
process of changing.
During the following three months Jim and Kim resumed the
relationship and broke-up another three times. The final occasion was initially
as overwhelming and traumatic as the first one. However, the crisis did not
last as long, for this time it was Jim that initiated the termination of the
relationship. Jim was now able to see that due to his neediness this
relationship was one of constant compromise rather than one of voluntary
collaboration. In touch with new feelings of self-worth Jim was able to
understand that the relationship was one of constant compromise rather than one
of voluntary collaboration. In touch with new feelings of self-worth Jim was
able to understand that the relationship he wanted had to be based on a freely
given expression of love and commitment, and not upon a coerced, obligatory,
compromise. In terminating the relationship Jim felt worthy enough to be able
to find someone more willing to commit themselves to a relationship to him, and
strong and secure enough in those feelings to be able to discriminate a passing
interest from a genuine willingness to love and risk commitment.
Case Three
In the two previous cases, for the most part, both sides of
the situation where available to the author. In this case, however, only the
male’s version was obtained. This need not be considered a limitation as the
study is focused primarily on the male’s existential experience.
Ted was born in India, of an upper-class Indian family. Both
his grandfather and his father had achieved great distinction throughout all of
India as medical doctors. Ted choosing to follow in their footsteps had
distinguished himself as a medical student, had graduated, studied surgery, nd
then had come to Canada to acquire further education. He was naturally very
bright, but also attractive, charming and personable. Being the only son of
such outstanding achievers, he tended to be regarded as a sort of ‘golden boy’,
the pride of his mother and father. His relation with his father was often
stormy, rebellious, and competitive. Ted wanted to be an equal to his father in
achievement but a superior in contemporary training. Ted’s parents maintained a
very traditional marriage, which he respected, admired and believe to be
completely healthy. His own notions of marriage were not much different,
although he was not wholly predisposed to the necessity of enacting rigid
relational roles, desiring greater participation in the caring of his children,
etc. Marriae, as for Ted essentially a partnership of two equals. In these
attitudes Ted wished to combine what he believed to be the best of the East and
West.
Ted met Kat while living in Ottawa and attending university.
She was enrolled in the same program as Ted but at the doctoral level instead
of the master’s level. She was beautiful, having won contests locally, and now
modeled part-tie in order to supplement her income while attending graduate
school. Thus, she presented the picture of an ideal contemporary woman,
intelligent, career-oriented, beautiful and a very high achiever. Ted’s actual
involvement with Kate was very short, and remained superficial, although his
personal emotional involvement lasted almost six months and is representative
of the crisis that similar to those of the other cases, though not as extreme.
After one or two initial chance encounters Ted became
attracted to Kate and asked her out several times. Kate accepted the
invitations but was clear from the onset that she was already seriously
involved with someone else. At first Ted felt that a friendship would be
enough, however, the signals he perceived to be receiving from Kate led him to
conclude that her serious relationship was not a whole-hearted one. Despite
knowing that he would be leaving Ottawa within a year he believed that an
affair between them would be more fulfilling for both of them. Kate was not at
all convinced, and the relationship rapidly degenerated into a cold war.
Working in the same department often brought them into close
proximity to each other during their working days. Throughout this time,
whenever Ted would see or get close to Kate he was subject to some
uncontrollable emotional reactions which included, slight tremors,
hyper-self-consciousness and a pervasive defensiveness. As in the other cases
his sleeping patters were disturbed and sleep became fitful. Even as the object
of Ted’s contempt and hatred she still maintained a power over his sense of
self-possession, and thus it was almost impossible for Ted to see Kate as just
another colleague. From Ted’s perspective she seemed to be intent on avoiding
the reality of the intensity of the affect that Ted believed they both had on
each other. Ted not only felt helpless to be free from thinking constantly of
her, but angry as well at what he believed to be her lack of consideration or
even refusal to cooperate in coming to terms with a situation that was
obviously affecting him at least.
In an endeavor to understand the situation by first
accepting responsibility for having participated in its creation, Ted began to
reflect on his past relationship in the attempt to discover clues to both his
coping strategies as well as to the types of women to whom he had previously
been attracted. With the help of a counselor he tried to delineate what his
expectations of Kate exactly were, and then to make an effort to see the
situation from the possible different perspectives that could be representative
of Kate’s views. Progress was slow as Ted struggled to keep from despairing and
being engulfed in an emptiness that seemed his unjust lot. His work once
inspired and passionate now languished in a sense of meaningless and mechanical
effort. Thus, an image of woman emerged, that was both nurturing in her
capacity to drain the energy and colours from Ted’s life.
Ted’s emotional attachment persisted for approximately six
months, before it began to subside. As spring was nearing its end Ted decided
to take a three week vacation in the Bahamas. The combination of the relief of
being away from work, and the encounters with Kate, as well as a number of
positive romantic interactions, sexual and otherwise, did much to refresh and
rejuvenate Ted’s self-esteem, and sense of self-possession. Upon his return Ted
was confident and secure. His plan was now to spend a few weeks finishing up
his graduate studies, then to visit India for just over a month, and then to
return to Ottawa and wrap up his thesis before moving to the U.S. The
experience with Kate as well as those during his vacation had opened up in Ted
the awareness of a deeper need for committed relationship. The chief reason for
his visit to India therefore was due to this new awareness as well as relating
to his cultural and traditional background and the wishes and expectations of
his parents. At 28 years of age the traditional expectations were that Ted
should already be married, thus the visit would primarily be to initiate the
process involved in a traditionally arranged marriage. Ted’s involvement with
Kate had been a very intense emotional experience for him that resulted in
Ted’s becoming aware of a considerable amount of ambivalence within himself
concerning his expectations of a woman. This new awareness enabled Ted to now
see that much of the outer conflict was in actuality the manifestation of his
own inner conflict. However, Ted was far from having resolved the conflict.
Throughout the initial process of the arranged marriage Ted alternated between
an acceptance of the situation with a realization of how much work would have
to be done by both he and his bride-to-be, in order to achieve a fulfilling
relationship, and a considerable emergence of anger at the failure of his
fiancée to adequately anticipate his needs. Within two months he had called the
arrangement off and was on the edge of a greater depression due to his feelings
that he may never find happiness in any sort of permanent relationship.
Commentary
In the cases resented above none of the males have been able
to completely or fully resolve their crisis, although, progress was evident.
Each situation continued to perpetuate within the males an alternating state of
clarity and security to one of ambivalence and insecurity. Despite flashes of
insight the process of integrating the insights and thus transcending the cycle
of great expectations to great disillusionment and then back again, appears to
be a long and arduous one. The dynamics of the anima/animus interaction, (Jung
1966; Harding, 1965, 1970; Bertine, 1967; Von Franz, 1964), can very adequately
account for or at least describe, a good deal of the inter-relational dynamics
occurring in each case. Perhaps more basic than Jung’s theory, yet easily
enlisted to support Jung, is Gregory Bateson’s understanding of the fundamentals
of mammalian communication (Bateson, 1972).
Using Bateson’s theory, the development of sex-roles and
perhaps even of the anima/animus projections, can be understood to be founded
on and evolving from not solely biological origin, i.e. genetic, hormonal,
anatomical, etc. but also from the inevitable gestalt type perceptions of the
fact of biological differences, with the subsequent contingencies and
implications infused almost inextricably within any communication between the
sexes.
The development of psychic representations of the self,
shadow, anima or animus, etc. as proposed by Jung can also find support in some
of the theories put forth by some investigators in the field of artificial
intelligence, (Hofstadter, Dennett, 1981). These investigators refer to the
fact that n intelligent system need to possess a level of very abstract
symbols, (like archetypes perhaps), in order to have the capacity to be
self-regulating, that is to have a mind’s I/eye, , (Self symbol?), as well as
to have the flexibility to adapt and make intelligible those elements or
developments emerging from the completely random portion of the stochastic
process known as the evolutionary process (Bateson, 1979). Although the
existence of these very abstract symbols or archetypes is immanent in the
nature of an intelligent system, the manifested shape, form or content of the
symbols or archetypes is dependent not only on the individual but on the social
or collective context of a particular time and place, as well. Complication or
complexity arises as a civilization develops increasing amounts of liberation
from nature while the individual organism remains fundamentally unchanged.
The process of Individuation is a natural archetypal process
ensuring that everything belonging to an individual’s uniqueness enters into it
whether or not she/he is conscious of what is happening. Thus, the process as a
rule runs its course unconsciously but becoming conscious of the process will
make a tremendous difference to the individual. The natural, innate, archetypal
urges produce an outcome whereby the ego can become capable and willing to
relate to inner unconscious forces as they manifest in symbols. The conscious
realization of the unconscious contents of the psyche, allows the ego to mature
through the re-establishing f itself with the centre of the psychic totality
which is the Self. Both the spontaneous manifestation of the Self and the act
of ego conscious participation play fundamental roles in conscious
self-realization (Kincel, 1975).
Edinger (1972), describes the process as primarily a series
of ego/Self separations and unions/re-unions. Certain of these phases of the
male’s individuation process can be symbolized by the puberty initiation rites
of primitive or more stable societies (Eliade, 1958; Te Paske, 1982). Eliade
states:
The
term initiation in the most general sense denotes a body of rites and oral
teachings whose purpose is to produce a decisive alteration in the religious,
(psychological), and social status of the person to be initiated. In
philosophical terms, initiation is equivalent to a basic change n existential
condition; the novice emerges from his ordeal endowed with a totally different
being from that which he possessed before his initiation; he has become
another. …They, (the initiates), receive protracted instruction from their
teachers, witness secret ceremonies, undergo a series of ordeals. And it is
primarily these ordeals that constitute the religious experience of initiation
– the encounter with the sacred.
According to Edinger, the Individuation Process, or the
process of the development of consciousness seems to follow a cyclic course
whereby psychic growth arises through a series of inflated or heroic acts
provoking rejection, then alienation, repentance, restitution and renewed
inflation, i.e. ego-Self identification. In the state of alienation the ego is
desirably dis-identified from the Self, however, it is also very undesirably
disconnected from the Self. The ego-Self axis or connection is vital to psychic
health. When the connection is broken the result is an experience of emptiness,
despair, meaninglessness, and in the extreme cases psychosis or suicide. The
experience of the disconnection of the ego from the Self is easily accountable
or described as a form of noogenic crisis, (Frankl, 1969).
An important contributing factor in the development and
understanding of the particular type of noogenic crisis that is the focus of
this study is the Age Thirty Transition. Levinson (1978), states the following
of the Age Thirty Transition:
For
most men, the Age Thirty Transition takes a more severe and stressful from. …A
man encounters great difficulty in working on the developmental tasks of the
period. The difficulty may be so great that at times he feels he cannot go on.
It seems as though he had no basis for further living. …The critical thing is
that the integrity of the enterprise is in serious doubt: he experiences the
imminent danger of chaos, dissolution, the loss of the future. …An age thirty crisis
is not ‘merely’ a delayed adolescent crisis, though unresolved conflicts of
adolescence will be reactivated and perhaps more fully resolved in it. …The Age
Thirty Transition, like all transitional periods serves to terminate one
structure and initiate another.
Two aspects of this transition are especially relevant to
this paper, as each can be represented with identical or at least similar
symbols in the unconscious. Both the possible reactivation of certain
adolescent crisis, and the fact of a transition from one structure to another –
from the provisional, exploratory quality of the twenties, to a phase where
life appear to be becoming more serious, restrictive and more for real – can be
represented in the unconscious by the symbolism depicted in the battle with the
devouring mother. If the anima has not been successfully detached from the
mother archetype during the adolescence then the Age Thirty Transition may
become especially significant for males in terms of their projections and
expectations of the women with whom they inevitably become involved.
Discussion and Conclusion
As was stated previously, none of the women involved in the
presented cases was a feminist in any radical sense. However, they had in many
ways integrated into their belief system and set of life expectations certain
values concerning their right to equal opportunities and the freedom to define
for themselves, what roles they should accept or reject. It is generally
understood that the most highly prized or respected values or qualities, by
either sex, are the ‘masculine’ ones, whereas ‘feminine’ values or qualities
are the least prized or respected. The main thrust of feminism tends to
encourage women to assume or assimilate the ‘masculine’ values, qualities, r
modes of being into their attitudes and actions. While essentially this is a
desirable process, it occurs in the context where the ‘feminine’ values are
consistently overlooked and undervalued.
According to Jung the ‘feminine principle’, regardless of
the actual sex it is operating through, is primarily responsible for the
establishment and maintenance of relationship. One should be safe in assuming
that the basic evolutionary imperative of, ‘the survival of the species’ which
in general overrides the survival of the individual, would provide the female,
who the greatest biological responsibility in the bearing and nursing of
offspring, with some sort of powerful and generalizable predisposition or
orientation to aid her in the task of affirming and maintaining relationship.
In this way one sees that such a basic natural orientation is not necessarily a
prescription to any particular role, but is on the other hand a predisposition
to more easily fulfill a function, that is, the establishing and maintenance of
relationship.
Perhaps a more abstract or poetic metaphor could provide an
intuitive view of the essential or primary staring point of both sexes in terms
of their symbolic existential condition. The child is born from a woman and is
woman, the child and mother share an essential sameness-identification. With
the onset of puberty and the menstrual cycle the female is concretely and
rhythmically made aware of her biological connection with the natural cycles
that life imposes upon every individual. Though the experience of pregnancy and
even intercourse the female can become aware of ‘other’ as a presence within
her being, and experience that can be either positive incorporation or negative
invasion. During pregnancy the female has the possibility of a concrete
awareness of the mystery of life itself occurring from within as well as
through her. This also may be a positive or negative experience.
The male child on the other hand is born from a woman but is
not woman, that is, unlike the essential sameness characterizing the female’s
birth the male’s is characterized by powerful difference or separateness.
Through his life the male can never experience in as powerful or concrete a
manner as is at least potentially available to the female, the experience of
‘other’ within his being. Generally the male’s experience of the presence of
‘other’ is from without of himself. For the concrete experiencing of the
mystery of life as a creative force the male again must seek outside of himself
the manifestation of such. Thus, the female’s primal existential condition can
be perceived as a powerful gestalt-like symbol of connected being, whereas the
male’s is an equally powerful symbol o an independent, (free of connection),
being. Either symbol can be perceived as a positive or negative experience.
However, in the present day, it is likely that each sex in moments of
existential insecurity will view the other sex’s presenting symbol as more
desirable than their own.
If the above metaphors do in fact describe a natural
existential origin, it is certainly recognized by this author, that it is
equally inherent in the human condition to be more than nature, that is, having
the potential to move beyond the biological bounds of nature – at least to a
certain extent. The Individuation Process accounts for this potential in
relation to a fundamental psychological orientation, by accommodating the
possible development of an androgynous personality. In addition to this, the
present day is probably the first time in the history of humanity in which the technological
means as well as the necessary corresponding belief systems are available to
alleviate many of the natural consequences of our biological nature.
The influence of feminism has certainly and positively
heightened the awareness and sensitivity to the restrictive entrapment of
prescribed sex-roles, a problem shared equally by both sexes. In relation to
the topic of this paper however, the heightened sensitivity may easily
generalize to a pervasive, and apprehensive reaction to the male’s projected
anima/feminine principle. Due to a greater emphasis on ‘masculine’ values, a
corresponding positive reinforcement of ‘feminine’ values has not been
established. Thus, in the desirable process of the female’s integration of
complementary ‘masculine’ qualities and values, the male’s process of
integrating the complementary ‘feminine’ qualities and values has not received
equal emphasis, reinforcement, or understanding.
The opportunities for the present day individual to
dis-identify the Self-archetype from the parental figures through some form of
social institution or rite seems to this writer to be limited in the extreme.
It may be that the so-called generation-gap is a logical consequence of an
unconscious individuation process. Especially important for the male today is
the dis-identification of the mother-archetype from the anima. Unless this
achieved, the anima projection of the male is suffused with both the oceanic,
maternal matrix of the mother-archetype, and the totality that is the Self in
projection.
Further complications arise for the male attempting to come
to terms with his own feminine nature through his relationship with a woman.
The nature of the male’s socialization tends to suppress his emotional
sensitivity, is reinforced at an earlier age, and is enforced with more vigor
than the corresponding socialization of the female. The desired behaviors are
rarely defined positively, rather undesirable behaviors are indicated
negatively as something other than is regarded as ‘sissy’, or feminine (Pleck
and Sawyer, 1974). This sort of conditioned valuation of his own feminine
nature associates this femininity with the shadow-complex. Thus, the difficult
integration of his own unconscious feminine complement is made more difficult
and frightening.
If, in his relationship to a woman who has truly caught his
anima, the woman begins to react to his projection (she must react to it in
some way), defensively or with apprehension, and withdraws, the male will
inevitably become increasingly insecure, and either break away or become more
dependent. Either choice leads to a point where the unassimilated projection
creates an unavoidable separation. The male then suffers the loss of the
acquired feminine image, the simultaneous disconnection from the Self, and is
thus swamped n the backwash of his inferior function as well as his own
unconscious feminine. This then, is the initiation of a full blown noogenic
crisis.
Each of the male’s presented in the case studies suffered
this type of noogenic crisis to some degree, experiencing various periods of a
nearly crippling loss of emotional vitality. Thus, as was proposed, an absence
of the traditional sex-roles opens the present day male to being vulnerable to
a form of noogenic crisis, in his attempt to come to terms with himself as an
adult and a male.
This viewpoint may provide further insight and understanding
in a reappraisal of certain other relevant areas of investigation. The nature
of pornography and more particularly violence in pornography is certainly a
topical and relevant area, as it is often referred to by males as ‘fantasy’
material. An interesting statistic related to this issue, is the corresponding
rise in pornography with each rise in the feminist movement[1].
The recent rise in adolescent suicide and early pregnancy, may also be relevant
phenomena that this paper’s perspective can aid in shedding some illumination
understanding on.
This writer feels that it cannot be stressed too strongly –
the general influence of feminism has not only been necessary but positive as
well in bringing to light a problem with which both sexes must struggle to face
and appropriately resolve. The traditional sex-roles cannot remain unchanged.
However, the positive function that they contained, must be more carefully
considered and explored, especially in terms of the facilitating of the
psychological growth of each sex through the anima/animus dynamic. Equally
important to review, is the role of the more traditional rites of puberty, in
terms of whatever positive function they may have played in the psychological
education and preparation of the individual for a mature adulthood.
[1]
Communicated by a feminist speaker, to the audience, after the showing of the
film, “Not a Love Story”, March 1983.
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